In Memory of SPC Stephen Edward Colley, US Army
March 10, 1985 – May 16, 2007
Stephen was the 4th sibling of the 6. He enlisted directly after high school into the active duty Army. He always loved working on things and had the aptitude to become a helicopter mechanic. He enjoyed his job and was planning on eventually becoming a Warrant Officer to fly them, unfortunately, that dream was not realized. Following his deployment to Iraq – a deployment that both boys endured days apart, he made that awful decision to end his too short life of 22. Stephen was a fun-loving kid who had a heart of gold, he never met a stranger and had a smile that lit up the room. Stephen suffered from PTSD and TBI following his deployment and was not properly treated for either. When he went for help, practitioners misdiagnosed him and he left defeated and alone. We found that out through the investigation following his death. In our family’s view, he asked for help and was not given any and his suicide was preventable.
SPC Stephen Edward Colley, was a 2003 Valencia High School graduate who returned from Iraq in November. He was one of six children of Valencia High School’s JROTC instructor and Castaic Lake Water Agency board member Ed Colley, many of whom have served in the military. He served honorably and that was important to him. He knew the value of serving his country. Stephen and his oldest brother, Alan, were deployed to different parts of Iraq within days of each other. However, when Stephen returned to Fort Hood, Texas, where he lived with Laura, his wife of only 18 months, he was troubled, and felt that he could not get the psychological help he needed from the military for fear it would jeopardize his future career in the army. He was an excellent leader, but at the same time, a very sensitive boy by nature. Stephen wasn’t war-like. You wouldn’t see him in the Alpha-male role. He was one of the most affable, loving kids who wanted to please anyone he encountered. He absolutely did not have a mean streak in him.
He died following his return from the Middle East where he worked as a helicopter mechanic. Services were held at Santa Clarita United Methodist Church, the church Stephen regularly attended in the past.
States he called home: Santa Clarita, California and Texas
Resting place: Central Texas State Veterans Cemetery, Killeen, Texas
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Following is an article about the loss of Stephen and Alan, and then the information about Matthew, their third son to die by suicide.
Kathy, their mom shares this, “I also advocate for suicide awareness as a bereaved mom. I am a trained peer mentor for TAPS. Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) is the organization that helped us through all three deaths. I am involved with other organizations and use my training as a nurse and mentor to provide support for others moms who have lost their child; it’s a lonely place in society where few resources exist to provide support for grief.”
SPC STEPHEN E. COLLEY
05/16/2007, FORT HOOD, TEXAS, U.S.A.
MAJ ALAN E. COLLEY
09/07/2017, HOUSTON, TX, U.S.A
The Colleys still grapple with the deaths of two of their sons. This is a military family including Edward Colley, the father, a retired Air Force Captain, and a daughter who is a disabled Air Force Veteran.
Since 2007, the family has mourned their son Stephen’s death. He was a U.S Army veteran. In 2017 tragedy struck again with the death of their eldest son, Alan, also an Army veteran.
“They were terrific kids,” their mother, Kathy Colley, said. “They were proudly serving in the military, following their dad’s footsteps.”
Stephen E. Colley, one of six Colley children, took his own life on May 16, 2007. He had been deployed to Iraq with the U.S. Army and was later stationed at a base in Texas. He was a 2003 Valencia High School graduate. He served his country honorably which was important to him. But he was troubled on redeployment. He feared the stigma associated with seeking psychological help from the military, and did not want to jeopardize his career as a soldier.
While serving in the U.S. Army, Stephen suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder and traumatic brain injury, but didn’t receive help from military resources, according to his father.
“They were both proud to serve,” said Edward Colley, their father. “But when a soldier tries to get help and doesn’t get it, he basically decided to solve his own problem.”
Ten years later, the Colley’s eldest son, MAJ Alan E. Colley, took his own life on September 7, 2017.
Like his brother, Alan served in Iraq with the U.S. Army. He was deployed also to Uganda and El Salvador.
“Alan was a brilliant young man, really a true genius,” said Frank Ferry, former Santa Clarita Mayor and friend of the family.
“To Alan, the people that served under him weren’t just bodies and numbers, but he knew their names, their families, and their kids’ names; he made a point to know people he served with,” said Kathy Colley.
Alan Colley graduated Canyon High School in 1996. He graduated from Cornell University and attended the University of Michigan Law School.
“He had this spark that made him want to be deeply involved with his world and his local community,” said Kathy Colley. “And this manifested into him becoming an exceptional leader in the service.”
“Alan was tortured after Stephen,” Edward Colley said. “He couldn’t reach an understanding about losing his baby brother.”
Alan Colley died in Houston. He is survived by his wife Marcela, two daughters, extended family, friends, and brothers in arms.
Edward Colley advocates for service members who are afraid of losing jobs or clearances in the military if they reach out. The potential for losing career status is a barrier to many individuals in need of and seeking help.
“Whenever I’m able to talk to any soldier, I tell them to try to get the help they need,” Mr. Colley added.
“Any soldier that’s in trouble, please do all that you can, because everybody wants you with us,” Kathy Colley stated.
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In Memory of Matthew Colley
June 9, 1992 – June 5, 2021
Matthew Ryan Colley, 28, of Canyon Country, CA passed away on Saturday, June 5th. He was born June 9, 1992, while his family was stationed in Colorado Springs, CO. He was the 6th and youngest child of Ed and Kathy Colley. Matt moved to Canyon Country with his family in 1995. Matt graduated from Canyon High School and attended College of the Canyons earning his Associates degree. He was employed by the KHTS “Hometown Station” web/marketing department where he excelled in web design and web development which were largely self-taught skills. As an adult, he became more adventurous and enjoyed snowmobiling, dirt-biking, and snowboarding; he excelled at all three. He loved and devoted much of his time to his dog, “40”. He had the patience of a saint with his dog and his beloved nieces and nephews.
Matthew is survived by his parents, Edward and Kathryn Colley, his siblings, Melissa, Carolyn, and James, his nephews, Alexander (who was also his best friend) and Tyler, his nieces, Katelyn, Juliana, and Allison.
Matt was predeceased by his older brothers, Alan and Stephen.
