Message from Michael’s mom, Jill. Please join her page Unofficial: Suicide to connect with others:
“Again, I share my sons story for those new to this site in case YOU are thinking of ending your life. DON’T, it leaves such devastation and destruction…there is always help.
1 (800) 273-8255 Suicide Hotline
I am going to share my sons story. Maybe you may see a reflection of his story in you. In hopes you don’t end your story like he did. You have no idea the terrible nightmare you leave behind. No closure, EVER.
My son suffered from depression at a very young age. PTSD was not the CAUSE of my sons death but a contributing factor for sure. Being deployed twice (2008) (2010), having to deal with suicide of soldiers, calling parents of the death of a solider was part of his duty as a US Army Chaplain Assistant, it was not easy. Also to counsel those that wanted to die. People who suffer from depression should never be in that position, but very little is told when you sign up the actual duties one will have.
Michael had so may losses in a very short time. My father’s death (which he loved dearly) was very hard. My dad died the same day Mike was coming home from his first deployment, break ups, loss of jobs. His Chaplain Josh Remey committing suicide 11 months before Mike. That devastated Mike. They were like brothers, he protected him over seas. Promised his parents he would return him safely home and signed up for a second deployment to do just that for Chaplain. He loved him that much. He was loyal and protective of those he loved. He was also intense and suffered from OCD. He didn’t want to take meds. You know, an Army solider has to man up. What kind of bullshit is that?
On December 26, 2014 his fiance broke it off with him, again another loss. His life spiraled, the anxiety set in. He could not handle any more loss. He left a text to us that morning. He apologized over and over, told us we gave him a great life and to remember the funny him. A great life? Then why? So many questions. That’s what suicide does. The pain to unbearable for him, he thought. He took his life at the cemetery close to my dad. He is now buried there. I get to see that picture in my mind every time I go there to visit them both.
If you’re thinking of suicide, PLEASE don’t do it.
Reach out, contact me. I will find help for you or find the right help.
Please share this site with all your contacts and ask them to do the same and pass this on. We have to stop this. NOW.
“I wake up at all hours my son, crying for us all, every day I realize more and more the love so many have for you, how you saved their lives in Iraq, gave them hope when they had none, helped people pursue their gifts and talents. When you were in a room it was mesmerizing, you controlled with just your presence, your smile and the quickest wit and humor. My heart is heavy, our family torn up. I will create some sort of legacy for you when I can think clearly, which may not be for some time my son, You were a soldier inside and out, I love you”
“As I sit here pondering and thinking what could have happened I’m very sad at the loss of my brother in arms Michael Kissell. You and Chaplain Remy helped me through the toughest battle of my life; God used you both and now both of you are gone. To your family – Michael my heart breaks for them you are in my prayers through this grieving time. I will see you at those pearly gates my brother. RIP Michael Kissell”
“There’s nothing I can do for Mike now, other than to try to comfort all of you that he loved. And he did love you-in a more real and sincere way than most people could ever wish to know. I think I can say with confidence, that he wouldn’t want you to dwell on the why and the what ifs. Don’t remember him for this, And don’t drive yourselves crazy trying to answer the questions that have no doubt haunted you for the last 10 days. There’s no peace there. Remember the things you’re sure about, the love, the laughter, the uniqueness. Let that live on and spread it where you can. There’s no greater legacy than that.”
ETS AWARD SPC MICHAEL KISSELL
– FORT HOOD –
– Aided the Chaplain in All field exercises while providing field services at mobile sites.
– Was the BN BOSS rep. Duties included attending meetings providing information to company reps and advising them on events and opportunities for single soldiers during their time at Fort Hood.
– Planned and organized the Trunk or Treat event at BN Motor pool for Halloween with assistance of single soldiers.
– Attended the DFAC council meetings advising command on updates and information regarding the DFAC both in garrison and during deployment.
– Taught and consolidated suicide awareness/ reintegration briefs upon leaving and arriving back from two deployments.
– Supported and organized 4 memorial ceremonies (2 during deployment) during my time with 2-12 CAV.
– Has never been flagged, never received a negative counseling statement, has never been late or missed a show time, never failed a PT test or rifle qualification, has never received disciplinary actions by any means by the civilian law enforcement or military justice during my 4 years with 2-12 CAV.
– Performed and set up to specification of well over 208 religious services by 4 different Chaplains. (2 while others were on leave)
– Went above the call of regular duty hours to counsel soldiers at their homes and off base about multiple issues to include suicide outside of normal duty work hours.
– Organized and prepared a Long knife Brigade bike run where I assisted in set up, working on th
grill and arranging contests for participants who attended the event.
– Has personally counseled well over 150 soldiers on everything from financial advice, spiritual, Family stability and personal development while advising them to get further help with the Chaplain and or Mental Health.
– Allocated cooperation with Cell Phones for soldiers (Organization) for 4000 plus calling cards in which I distributed to soldiers before and during our deployments.
– Organized assistance with Beasties Boxes (Organization) for Christmas stockings for every soldier during both deployments.
– RETREATS (7 Total)-
– Organized, and regulated 3 single soldier and 4 Married couples’s retreats over 4 years without incident. Planned and advised command of retreats, set up, child care, movement plan, activities and events at the sites and taught programs during the event. Approximately 300 soldiers and spouses in all attended the events in locations in Austin, TX and Dallas, TX during my time at 2-12 CAV.
– JRTC (2 Rotations) –
– 1st JRTC rotation: Completed with absence of the Chaplain due to surgery. Coordinated with other UMT’s to provide religious support to 2-12 CAV during JRTC. Completed all lanes, set up and led bible studies. Assisted soldiers in counseling, suicide training and attended staff briefings.
– 2nd JRTC rotation: Provided suicide awareness training, Bible studies and counseled soldiers, attended command and staff briefings. Assisted in MASCAL exercises and completing lanes.
– DEPLOYMENTS (2 Total)-
– Deployed on 2 rotations to Iraq with 2-12 CAV in Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation New Dawn. Performed, planned and organized over 88 missions to get the UMT to outlying COP’s and JSS’s providing religious support to the soldiers while ensuring safety to the UMT all while maintaining support of soldiers in absence of the Chaplain. Attended Command and staff briefings. Administrated all soldiers with EML/RNR, reintegration and Suicide Awareness/Prevention Briefs